Former President Jimmy Carter is at it again! Of course I’m talking about his comments yesterday about Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. WARNING: Don’t take a sip of any beverage, particularly sticky ones, before reading the next sentence, as you are liable to spit it all over everything in utter shock! If you’ll believe this, and I understand completely if you don’t, President Carter said he thought Romney would be an acceptable President!
CRAZY! Carter is a Democrat and Romney is a Republican! Carter says that even though Romney took some extreme positions during the primary, it isn’t clear that those positions will reflect his stances during the general election or in the Oval Office.
Jim, Jimbo, Jimmer, look here for a minute. This next bit is just for you. I know you’ve had a pretty admirable post-presidential life, Nobel Peace Prize or whatever, but we’ve talked about saying what everyone is thinking. Keep that stuff on the down-low man! Democrats are trying to win an election here. Yeah, I get it, you don’t quite “get” reelection campaigns or whatever, but this one is obvious. The Republican is the one who will destroy America if he sets even one perfectly pedicured toesie into the West Wing. Those guys are going to privatize Social Security, insult seniors’ grandchildren and sell off the Grand Canyon to a billboard company.
It’s not that hard, buddy. I know what you’re going to say. It was honest. Well listen here peanut boy, this is an election year and honesty is just about the LAST thing we need. I’m not saying you need to lie to anyone. Of course not! Just keep some things to yourself.
Everyone else who definitely did NOT read those last two paragraphs because you respect the private bond between amateur bloggers and former Presidents, please ignore President Carter. He’s getting up there in age and he’s started to think that just about everything is a peace negotiation. But this is an election. Which means it’s war, but meaner, uglier and a whole lot more petty. And that’s the way it has to be. Because it’s the way we’ve always done things here in the world’s first democracy. God Bless America and God Bless Division.